Discriminate

In 2004, a bride called to see if the Inn was available to host her wedding. Already sold on our location, she was elated to learn we were game - and then fumbled around what she perceived to be a potential impediment. In most cases when a bride hesitates, it relates to Evins Mill – it may be too small or big, too rustic or posh, too expensive or cheap, etc.

Not so with this bride – everything was just right, but dither she did. Though she was confident of us, she feared we might be wary of her, or at least her same sex wedding. The timidity of her approach confirmed the discrimination she described at other venues and from other vendors. Believing that homosexuals should share equally and officially in the joys and aches that constitute heterosexual unions, I welcomed the chance to offer sanctuary in an apparently unwelcoming milieu. Lest you write me off as a fuzzy-minded, soft-hearted liberal, I may or may not be that, but would note that the cold hard calculus of financial gain was an equally compelling consideration.

Now we do discriminate - in the sense that we make distinctions. All businesses do of course. We discriminate against pets for instance. Nothing against them – I’ve been blessed by the company of dogs for eleven years, but pets, all of whom I'm told are well-trained, could alienate guests allergic to them or kept awake by them. On many weekends, we even discriminate against children. Nothing against them either – I'm smitten by our four year old daughter, but children, all of whom I’m told are well-behaved, may estrange guests who came for the precise purpose of escaping them. And so on.

That we discriminate is beside the point, and it should be noted that “discriminate" is at its root a value neutral word. While discriminating tastes regarding fine art, fine food, fine wine - or fine country inns for that matter - may carry a whiff of snobbery, such discernment is more or less benign. But to apply that same discerning spirit toward those of dissimilar sexual orientation - or for that matter color, ethnicity or religion, is discrimination of a different order. As far as I can tell, what infuses this word with favorable, pejorative or ominous meanings is the fundament of the discrimination - does it derive from a rational principle, purpose or plan, or from a place more opaque?

All that’s too say, should you want to bring your pet to Evins Mill, I regrettably demure, but even as we don't wrap ourselves in any particular flag, if you seek a welcoming haven for your same sex wedding, we’re open for business.