Complain

Not long ago, a guest complained that a stain on the carpet of her room so tarnished her experience that she would never return. Over the years, we've developed a taxonomy of such complaints. It incorporates metrics by which we assess their legitimacy and which in turn help us address complaints fairly and effectively - by which I mean giving or withholding consideration and then fixing the underlying problem, if one actually exists. To prospective guests I should emphasize this is not to suggest we receive an overabundance of complaints, but over fifteen years of running an intensively service-oriented business, you get a few.

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One metric by which we measure a complaint is its degree of subjectivity. At a dinner one night featuring cuisine prepared by the same chef, one guest waxed ecstatic about the molasses pan seared salmon, while another was less enthused. A comment card read that the bed was fabulous, providing the best night's sleep ever, though not days later another card criticized the same bed as lumpy. Ditto with pillows. Some guests have effused at how reasonable our rates are, as others have complained we charge too much. We respect these "personal taste" complaints, knowing full well we cannot be all things to all people.
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A second metric is the degree to which we are responsible for a problem. When a guest once complained that he was unable to enjoy the property as it was raining his whole stay, I genuinely sympathized and not much more, for the fact I am not yet master of the universe. Another guest complained that he was unable to enjoy the sight and sound of water our web site touts. Though we were not responsible for the drought conditions that summer, we are accountable for promoting the Inn accurately and took responsibility for the unintentional and unexpected misrepresentation. On a related note, we quickly amended our web site to read "sight and sound of water in season."

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A third metric is the depth of a problem, defined by the extent to which it adversely impacts the experience. If on one hand a light bulb is out in a room but is quickly replaced, the problem was minor and fixed, and the complaint will be promptly discarded. If on the other hand a heating unit goes kaput on an achingly cold night and we're unable to relocate the room's occupant, serious consideration is warranted and given.
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A final metric is reasonableness. They say the customer is always right, and to the degree you want them to return, I suppose that's true. But I have reservations about this notion, for every now and then a complaint is simply unreasonable, and by any definition of unreasonable that reasonable people might give it. A guest once asked for consideration because she was stung by a bee. Enough said.
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Now don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining about complaining. Well, that's not wholly true - I am sniping at certain kinds of complaints. The intent however is not to grouse but to explain the methodology by which we process criticism. And methodology is critical, for it provides a rational framework for handling complaints that trumps emotional responses driven by timidity or anger. And the same methodology also offers a useful plinth from which we can improve who we are and what we do - which is precisely why we solicit criticism so ardently. So please, complain.