Father's Day

Heart attacks come in all shapes and sizes I'm told, but surely the most consequential category involves the fatal kind. My father of forty-six years and business partner of twenty unexpectedly suffered such in January of this year.

When I asked my ten year old daughter what she would remember most about her grandfather, her unflinching response was to cite his sense of humor. As exacting as my father could be, he did possess a robust wit - and one with a big smile.

One dimension of my father's humor that I found especially impressive was his capacity to elicit a laugh, while at the same time affirming the butt of his joke. Which is to say, he was a master of the back-handed compliment.

Growing up in the same household as my father, I found myself on the receiving end of many a classic zinger over the years, as many who knew him probably did as well - even if not at such close range.

Be that as it may, my favorite of his one-liners went something like this, and there are endless variations - he would say: "William - I don't care what everyone else thinks about you - you're OK in my book."

...to which I just want to say to my father: "Dad, I don't care what everyone else thinks about you either! You were, and you will remain, a figure of deep and enduring  consequence in my book. And I know you will remain such in Ivy's book.

And I am confident you will in the books of just about everyone who got to know you very well. I imagine also that you will remain such in the books of a lot of folks who may or may not have known you all so well...

...but whose lives nonetheless were enhanced or advanced, or enriched or improved by your indefatigable volunteerism; or by your earnest (though in some circles not always welcome) mentoring and managing; or by your big-hearted and heart-felt generosity.

Now, when I consider this particular dimension of my father's life - this legacy if we can call it that, of wanting to help others improve themselves, or up their game as it were, or of wanting to help folks improve their lot in life and get a leg up in life...

Whatever the impulse was, I think it had something to do with wanting to lift people up, make them better or make them more whole. Whatever it was, I find it among the more admirable of my dad's qualities.

So much so that I would want to echo back to him a sentiment that he would routinely share with me following a task that I had admirably completed. And it would sound something like this: "Dad - GREAT JOB WITH YOUR LIFE!

I am so impressed with all that you did with it...and with the impact that you had through it. All of it makes me exceedingly proud of you.

I don't care what everyone else thinks.